


It's You

by tabbytabbytabby



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: 9-1-1 Season 4, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Hopeful Ending, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Mentioned Ana Flores (9-1-1 TV), Post Episode: s04e06 Jinx, Season/Series 04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:01:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29783400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabbytabbytabby/pseuds/tabbytabbytabby
Summary: Buck's prepared to spend a quiet night alone, trying to distract himself from the fact that Eddie is out on a date. At least until Eddie shows up at his place and the night takes an unexpected turn.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 41
Kudos: 417





	It's You

It’s half past 10 in the evening when a knock sounds on Buck’s door. He’s spent the last two hours in front of the TV, trying to distract himself. Trying not to think about the fact that Eddie’s out there on a date. He’s happy that Eddie’s finally in a place where he can start to move on, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. He’s been trying to get all the wallowing and self-pity out of his system tonight so he can put on a smile the next time he sees Eddie and pretend that his heart isn’t breaking.

He’s barely made it off the couch when he hears a key turning in the lock. He knows it’s not Maddie. She’s probably getting ready for bed by now, and Albert already told him he wouldn’t be coming home tonight. Which leaves…

Eddie steps through the door and closes it quietly. Buck watches as he shrugs out of his jacket, and rather than hanging it up, lets it fall to the floor. His eyes are fixed on the floor, but Buck isn’t sure he even noticed the jacket at his feet.

“Eddie?” Eddie’s head snaps up at the sound of his name, and their eyes meet. But Eddie doesn’t say a word. Buck steps further into the room, closing some of the distance between them. "Eddie? What's going on?"

Eddie stands there, looking at Buck. His face is pinched, and his eyes are red, and he seems frantic. But Buck doesn't understand _why_. And Eddie still isn't speaking. 

"Did something happen with Ana?" 

“No,” Eddie says finally. There’s no emotion in his voice, despite his otherwise amped-up state. “Nothing happened.”

Buck frowns, trying to pick up on what Eddie’s saying, or really, _isn’t_ saying. He’s gotten pretty good at reading between the lines with Eddie. But not tonight. Tonight is something else. Something he’s not used to.

“Did you want it to?”

Eddie shakes his head, nods, then shakes his head again. “No. Ana’s amazing, but she’s…”

“What?”

"Ana isn't the one I want," Eddie says. “I realized that when I was sitting across from her. She’s beautiful and smart and everything I should want, but instead, I just kept thinking she was a replacement.”

"For Shannon," Buck guesses. 

To his surprise, Eddie shakes his head again. "No, that's not it. It's…" He looks at Buck, his eyes pleading as if he's begging Buck to understand. He's trying to. 

"Eddie, I'm trying to understand, but you might have to help me out here."

"She's not the one I want," Eddie says. He takes a deep breath and lifts his eyes to meet Buck's. "You are."

Buck feels as if the breath has been knocked out of him. So many times, he's imagined what it would be like to have Eddie tell him he wants him. But the reality is so much different. The words don't come to Buck like he always thought they would. Instead, he stands there frozen, half in disbelief. 

Eddie sighs and runs a hand through his hair, leaving it even more in disarray. Buck clenches his fist before he can give in to the desire to smooth it down. "You're everything I want, Buck, but everything I shouldn't." 

Buck frowns, finally finding his voice again. "You don't want to…"

"I _do_ , but I shouldn't. Buck, you know how I was raised."

Buck does. He knows Eddie was raised catholic. He knows how traditional his family can be, especially his parents. "I do, Eddie. But…"

"You're the perfect partner for me. You're always there for me and for Christopher. You're everything I want, but I always believed I couldn't have."

"You can," Buck says, voice firm and leaving no room for argument. Though he knows Eddie. He knows he will. But first, he needs Eddie to know he's not alone in this. He takes Eddie's face in his hands, and Eddie's eyes slip closed, the tears he's been holding back falling down his cheeks. Buck can count on one hand the number of times he’s seen Eddie cry. He knows the amount of trust it takes on Eddie’s part for him to be vulnerable like this. Buck’s not going to let it be misplaced. "Eddie, look at me, please."

Eddie's eyes blink open, meeting his, and Buck smiles, using his thumbs to brush the tears away. "You can have me. You already do. I've been yours since… I won't say the moment we met because we both know how that went." That gets a laugh out of Eddie, and Buck's relieved. He's not entirely stuck in his head then. "But you have had me for a long time. Maybe since the ambulance and I saw how good you were under pressure. I knew if there was anyone I always wanted by my side, it was you."

"Me too," Eddie admits.

"I'm yours, Eddie," Buck says. "I know you're battling something here, and I'm not going to push you for something you're not ready for. That's why I've never said anything. I couldn't risk losing you."

"You won't lose me, Buck."

Buck smiles and cards his fingers through Eddie's hair, one hand remaining on his cheek, grounding him and himself. Because he knows what he needs to do. To say. "I won't push you, but I need you to know something." A pause as he waits for Eddie to meet his gaze again. "I love you, and you've always been enough for me."

" _Buck_."

"I don't expect you to say anything, so…"

Eddie doesn't. Not at first. He does what he's best at and lets his actions speak for him. It throws Buck, sends him stumbling back into the door when Eddie surges forward and kisses him. The desperation in the kiss has Buck whining and clinging to Eddie. 

"I love you," Eddie murmurs against his lips. He's shaking against him, tears falling freely down his cheeks. Buck's never seen him come apart like this before. "I do. I…"

"It's okay," Buck whispers, running a soothing hand down Eddie's back. "I've got you."

Eddie smiles and rests his head against Buck's. He takes a few deep breaths and starts to relax in Buck's arms. "I know you do. You always do."

"I always will," Buck promises. It’s not an instant fix. There’s still a lot to work through here and talk about, especially for Eddie. But for now, it’s enough. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/comments make my day 💜  
> [My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


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